I'm in the mood to make someone's life a lot easier today.
1. Nothing is as serious as you think it is. That's why we're laughing.
2. You're always over reacting. Get over it. Unless he cheated.
3. He's not cheating, you're just insecure.
4. Maybe he is cheating, but you can't prove it.
5. Stay off of his facebook/twitter if you're just looking for evidence of infidelity. Of course you're going to find it, the internet is where skeezers live. You can't avoid them. Your private investigating skills suck.
6. If he's flirting in plain view, be happy. It means he's not boning her. If he is, it means he's a moron, which in turn makes you a moron. And you'll probably be together forever and have little moronic babies.
7. Pick your battles. Don't nag about every little offense. If you enter a relationship with anyone not named Jesus and expect perfection, you might wanna keep that e-harmony account open.
8. If you ask your girlfriend's opinion she's just going to agree with you, so why bother? Not to mention, it's none of their business. What? You just needed to hear the verbal confirmation to ease some of the same insecurities we spoke of in #3? Oh okay.
9. All the dudes consoling you after your various facebook/twitter rants? They're only trying to hit.
10. If you're mad at any of these points, you're probably not as grown as you think you are.
1. EVERYTHING YOU DO IS WRONG! It doesn't matter how innocent or right you are. You're wrong. Don't defend yourself. Just apologize. It'll make your life a lot easier.
Until next time folks. Remember to laugh. There's always someone uglier than you.
If you have any topics you'd like to see discussed, drop a comment or hit me up on twitter (twitter.com/RalphRudeSays)