Friday, July 2, 2010

The Great Gay Debate

So I've been considering starting a video blog for the past couple of days, and as a part of the process, I started browsing other video blogs on YouTube. In the process, I came across some enlightened negro going on about how being gay couldn't possibly be a choice because of something to do with evil demon spirits that Jesus wouldn't condone or some hogwash and I got angry.

First off, if I decide NOT to do the video blog, we can all blame that guy. I'd never want to come across as that bored or stupid.

Second, SINCE he got me so angry, here's my take on the never ending gay issue, and if you don't like talking about it, I suggest you exit now and carry on with your day as scheduled. No love lost.

As a heterosexual male, I actually don't care about what homosexuals do. It has nothing to do with me. Our paths really don't conflict. Well, not the males at least, you know? Because I like women, and they like men. Lesbians on the other hand, that's unfair competition, but I'm a huge fan of their movies, so they're okay with me.


Being that all of these homosexuals are off falling in love with each other, minding their own business, I see no reason why I cannot do the same. Why should I waste irreplaceable time out of my intrinsically valuable life to protest how someone else spends their equally valuable life? It's never really made since to me.

Let them marry. Gay people marrying has absolutely nothing to do with heterosexuals. I always hear this thing about preserving the "sanctity" of marriage as if homosexuals are the world's GREATEST threat to the "sanctity of marriage." Guys, Tiger Woods was married, had a separate caddy to tell him which white woman to use and is now on the verge of losing $750 million hot damned dollars because of it. In the long run, that BASICALLY makes Elin the world's most expensive pimp, in that she's collecting more than half a billion dollars from the work of OTHER females. It is THAT type of selfishness that is ruining the sanctity of marriage people. Both of these people are (supposedly) heterosexual.

In addition, why should what YOUR marriage means to YOU be affected by what other people are doing with THEIR marriages? That's just another classic case of people not being able to mind their own damned business. Your marriage's sanctity should speak for itself, and depend on YOUR actions, NOT the actions of two people of the same sex somewhere else. Marriage should not be a governable institution. University of Phoenix online should be a governable institution. Marriage should be a bond between two people, recognized and respected by others.

Now, a lot of people wonder why a gay person would chose to be gay. They never know the answer, they're just sure that at some point in time, a choice was made. To those people, I pose this question: At what point did you chose to be straight? I personally cannot pinpoint any point in my life where I sat down with a naked Barbie doll and a naked Ken doll in front of me, and played eenie-meenie-minie-moe or whatever to decide which anatomy I would forever be attracted to. It was always the boobies that got me. I can't help it. Til this day, I love boobs. Women are wonderful and I love them, and there's nothing I can do about it. And I'm a PRETTY strong person. Now, call me close minded or short sighted, but I don't really see how or why anyone could make a conscientious effort to suppress these strong biological and physical urges and go in the exact opposite direction with them. Yes, I am strongly asserting that people are born gay. No matter how hard I tried, if I went to a club tonight I could NOT leave with a dude. I just don't have it in me.

Now there's always a strong contingent of people who STILL refuse to rationally evaluate the case I just made, and for that contingent, I'll make things a little simpler for you. Most people have, at some point in their lives, been attracted to someone that they knew was not good for them. They weren't a good match, they were a b*tch, they were an assh*le, they had too many baby mamas/daddies, something of the sort. You knew it wasn't good for you, and you were attracted anyway. Why? Because people are born inherently retarded. And because you can't really help what you're attracted to. It's biology. (Let the record show that I'm not calling homosexuals retarded or saying that they're attracted to things that are bad for them. I was talking about people.)

I understand that my stance on the matter may be a little too liberal or radical for some to digest, and honestly if you can't get on board with it, that's fine. There's literally no use whatsoever in arguing to the death about an issue that has absolutely nothing to do with us. This debate is tantamount to 20 million dudes debating on which brand of tampons is the right one to use.

I guess my REAL point is this: if you have enough time to convince yourself that being gay is wrong and that gay marriage is going to be society's downfall, it's PROBABLY time for you to get a job.

Until next time folks. Remember to laugh. There's always someone uglier than you (and statistics say they're PROBABLY a heterosexual).

If you have any topics you'd like to see discussed, drop a comment or hit me up on twitter (

No comments:

Post a Comment